The hunt for new housemates
HUNT
EAT
FIND CAVE
SLEEP
No listings that lie, no greasy estate agents, no people who give you the heebie-jeebies.
Remove complications and life is pretty simple.
Wind back. Let’s take a look at a caveman’s guide to hunting for new housemates:
- Find a space you like
- Find people you like sharing with
- Move in
MAN NEEDS CAVE
Homosaipien was born to hunt – for meat, fish, berries, water and somebody to mate with – not for a house share.
But our caveman ancestors always found the perfect abode.
And I bet they didn’t pay estate-agent-Neanderthals to show them around. No ‘nice-cave-but-weird-Paleo-peers’ situations.
Very smart.
They got to know roomies prior to commitment – through acts of bonding such as conversing over a frothy hot drink with a touch of cinnamon on top.
No danger of rock ‘borrowing’ dwellers. No pairing of odd furs, no picking up the wrong spear by accident – or sleeping with the wrong Jane.
THE HUNT: IN THEORY
Fast forward 50,000 years and we like to think we have evolved.
- HAVE. SMART. PHONE.
And that makes house hunting quite exciting. But not the way you know it.
Let us paint you a picture (and it’s not a sunny one because you never house hunt on a belter of a day):
In a wildly overzealous state you’ve picked a café that will definitely become your regular, and already made BFFs with the ubercool hipster barista.
And now you’re swiping over endless listings, maps, pretty pictures and wildly unrealistic budgets.
But that’s as far as the novelty goes.
THE HUNT: IN PRACTICE
Step outside and it’s bucketing down.
Schlepping up hills in thongs on a wet day is not fun (and not conducive to catching Pokémon).
Don’t take a car, because Saturday parking will cost you double your first rent payment.
Here comes Justin Beiber. Oh no, it’s the estate agent; his hair is unbelievably shinier than his blinding shoes.
The anti-caveman.
He is smiling too much and you can smell his Lynx Africa half a block away.
SO WHAT NOW?
No Tattslotto, no Hallelujah moment and no, you’re definitely not going back to Mum and Dad’s place.
How to get out of this latest godforsaken cave?
Enough of the dark-age doom and gloom.
Grab a cold one, sit down and connect yourself with a whole load of great house-sharers on Real Estate Tube.
Even a cave man could figure it out:
- Get Real Estate Tube app
- Sign up
- Press ‘list a place’ or ‘find a place’
- Make a sweet little video about you and your ways
Before you can say ‘Jack Robinson’, a bunch of people on your wavelength will be checking out what you have to say.
SO IT’S LIKE TINDER, BUT WITH VIDEOS…?
Now you’re getting primal.
Hmm, kind of; less the bedrock part.
But yes, you can swipe away while sitting at home in your mammoth-fur cape, gnawing on a hunk of bison.
Ahoo! Ahoo! Ahoo!
